Hey, Planner Friends and People around the globe and to those who may stumble upon my blog! It’s been a while since I did a real post and boy have we had some of those over the last nearly two years! I promise in 2022 I will be more in attendance on my blog, I just wanted to share some things I’ve learnt this year!
What another year this has been right?! I mean if 2020 wasn’t bad enough, this year has been one of all sorts and then some on top! I’ve definitely had a year of learning that’s for sure and since I’ve had 30 something years of mistake-making what I’ve learnt this year is important. Wanna know what I know?
1. Anything is possible.
Yep, you read that correct, anything is possible even knee-deep in a global pandemic, I finally got married! To the love of my life! Even our love couldn’t be torn apart with Covid-19 rules! Albeit a small intimate wedding is what we had I wouldn’t have changed a thing.
2. Maintaining friendships (and making new ones) is an active process and letting go of toxic friendships too.
Yeah, when you realise that those people who actually don’t fit in your jam don’t belong in your life they’re good to go and that’s ok! Doesn’t matter if you’ve had a friendship 5 weeks, 5 years or 50 years sometimes there are times when you can call quits on a friendship or two that just don’t jell with your life anymore and that’s fine. Stop waiting for people to call you, text you or make plans, life is too short, think of something fun to do and call your friends and go do it!.
Also, stop sitting at home dwelling on the past and thinking you wish you knew more cool people. Dude, that’s not cool, the people you know are enough and if those toxic relationships are that bad bin them off!. By going and living your life doing all the fun things you want to you will meet new people that will either get you or don’t and that’s how it’s done!
3. Trust your gut. Honestly!
If you think something is wrong, it’s wrong. If you disagree with something don’t change your mind to fit with others. It’s perfectly fine to trust your gut because your gut instinct is actually your inner intuition making the right decisions for you. Start believing in yourself more! Listen to your gut, No, your shouldn’t judge people you don’t even know, but if a situation doesn’t feel right or if you feel strongly that the choice is a bad one, then voicing your intuition and protecting yourself is the best decision you can ever make.
4. Find a Creative outlet.
The majority of us aren’t creatively filled in our day to day jobs, even those who work in creative fields often suffer from burnout quite quickly. I’ve definitely found engaging my brain and different aspects of my own personality is hugely and insanely gratifying. Honestly having a seriously good hobby or interest you cannot overestimate how that can change your life. Finding my way in the Planner World and into my Journal over the last 12 months I cannot express how much joy, happiness and inner peace I have found since I started my Journal on Jan 1st 2021! #Truefacts
5. Take Help that’s offered to you.
I have a serious lack of self-belief in some areas of my life and that’s due to past traumatic situations and I often find the ‘offer to help’ to be overwhelming and stressful because I have set ways in ways that I achieve things in my daily life. If someone offers to help you, let them. We aren’t meant to do life alone and everyone needs help sometimes, this year I’ve really learnt that I need to let my pride/ego and my limiting belief go a little and that I am deserving of a little help sometimes when I need it.
6. There is no pause button.
Even though when life gets seriously overwhelming and I wish that there were a pause button, everyone says life goes by so fast and whilst it is true, you cannot hit pause and can’t slow it down, things happen for whatever reason they happen and none of us knows how much time we have left, so really I’ve learnt that we do have to make every single second count for something.
7. Learn to say No.
This is something I’ve always struggled with, I’m always willing to help people where I can, but I have to take back my time sometimes. I can’t be everything for everyone it’s impossible and very overwhelming sometimes even when I’m made to feel guilty about things I won’t apologise for saying no. So never be made to feel bad for having to put yourself first sometimes.
8. Learn to enjoy your own company.
I am very much a person who will sit by myself for hours with my hobbies or creativeness outlets and that’s something that has always been that way. There are times in your life when you really want to do something like go see a movie, check out a new shop or even go on holiday if no one wants to go with you (pants) but that doesn’t mean that you can’t go by yourself and have a good time, time by ourselves sometimes recharges and refreshes our minds having time to clear your mind and being yourself is what matters because you are you after all!
9. Don’t allow outside sources to determine your self-esteem.
Something I am still working on. I think it’s important to realise that just about everything in life is relative – depending on your surroundings, you could be the smartest/prettiest/highest paid girl in the room. But if you walk next door? that could be a different story. It’s important to have faith in yourself and your abilities regardless of how they compare to others.
10. No one knows what they are doing.
You think by being an adult it comes with some kind of manual and you’ll have all the answers. Then you’ll think at some point you need more experience to find certain answers. Then you’ll be thinking you’ve done it all wrong. The truth is not a single one of us had a clue and still don’t! No one knows what we are doing because life didn’t come with a manual honey sorry! We’re all trying and waiting on something to stick, so really I’ve learnt to just give it your best shot and don’t beat yourself up if it’s not right!
11. Face your fears and demons.
“You’ll never win your war if you keep running from your battles” – Trent Shelton said that and guess what he’s right! If you keep walking through life running away from your fears, your issues and your past experiences and trauma that you don’t want to confront then you’ll never find what you’re truly looking for. Acceptance is a big thing and it was my 2021 word of the year, accepting things and overcoming them are two different things but facing them is a big step. It’s a lot of extra baggage to carry around with your life and that’s ultimately gonna stop you from being happy, fulfilled and passionate about anything. Work through each problem and stop carrying them into your next fight.
12. Don’t buy the cheapest version, buy the second cheapest.
Haha! No, Seriously, never buy the cheapest version of something with the thought ‘is this gonna be bad’ cause it’s gonna let’s face it, this trick will save you a lot of money, usually, the cheapest version of something is noticeable dicey, dodgy and crap! But the second cheapest? Not so bad… so stick with that.
13. Don’t ask a question if you’re not prepared to hear the answer.
If you ask your husband “do I look fat in this?” ok bad example because I’d like to think your husband wouldn’t say yes but let rephrase that to your friend. You need to be prepared to hear that it’s not a super flattering look on you and if you really don’t want to know don’t ask! it also saves a lot of lies and embarrassing moments trying to come up with something less awkward to say.
14. Silence is golden.
Yep, this year staying silent has gained me far more satisfaction than probably mouthing off would to be fair. The saying treat people how you wanted to be treated well that’s kinda not true I’ve learnt that a lot this year some people really do think it’s ok to treat people like shit (sorry I’m gonna be real here). Staying Silent and not saying anything has actually gotten me out of confrontational situations and well-proved far more gratifying than I actually realised it would.
15. You can’t change people.
The only thing you can control is yourself and how you react to things. People don’t and won’t change unless they want to. If someone won’t listen to you at a normal decibel they’re less likely to listen if your screaming in their face. All you can do is love people well and live the example that you want to set, Hopefully, they’ll come around and if they don’t oh well, don’t waste time waiting for them though.
16. No matter how wronged I am, I will do everything I can to act right.
Even when I play out in my mind punching that certain someone in the face who did something mean to me, I end up happier knowing that I could let it go and move on. You can’t take back hurtful words or actions, so don’t recklessly throw them at people!
17. Record your life.
Photos, Journals, scrapbooking, you don’t have to record everything to the point you actually not living life and missing the moments, but have something to look back on later and smile about or cry about there are no rules to life!
18. Absolutely nothing or anyone is worth the price of your health or peace of mind.
Never ever sacrifice these things for anything. You can’t live without either of them.
19. Life doesn’t have to be lived at 100 miles per hour.
Pre-covid, the most common response to “hare are you?” was probably something along the lines of “busy”. I live in a town where there is always something to do. Consumer culture sells us the myth to ‘live your best life’ ah seriously girl you don’t need to do absolutely everything, making memories isn’t about flashing the cash on fancy hot tubs and who can outdo one another on a mulberry bag! I’ve found the freedom in lockdown to enjoy space, think, read, rest and discover things I never thought I’d enjoy. Granted some people are in a busier time than ever (keyworkers etc), but for the majority, it would have freed people up in space they didn’t realise they had before. I’ve realised that I can survive without having to plan every hour of the day and not having time for other things, I’ve noticed what occupied most of my time and how I wasted it with pointless people and social pressures or FOMO! Lockdown and covid-19 really showed me that I don’t have to constantly do things and has shown me the richness and productivity in slowing down and enjoying life and making true memories with the people who really matter.
20. Crap happens and it’s up to me to make the best of it.
I wanted to write something on this specifically on this point because I think it’s been a huge part of my life and others for a while. When crap happens to you over and over again it’s exhausting you have to constantly fight to survive. This year hasn’t been the easiest for me with loss and bad news and dam right disrespectful people, the simplest and not easy truth is that regardless of how often crap happens to you, ya have to keep on fighting. Don’t let the situation get to you, yes take the time to scream, cry, throw or smash something we are only human. But pick yourself up, be positive and make the best of it.
I’ve already seen in the last 8 weeks how some of the things I’ve faced this last quarter of 2021 have started to shape my personality and cause me to see things differently than if I hadn’t of gone through it, And the truth is real, these things that happen may never turn into positive things, it’s not a promise of sunshine and roses, the truth is it may still be awful, sard or hard but who we become because of it is priceless.
21. Be Unapologetic.
After the experiences I have gone through in the last quarter of 2021 I can assure you I will going forward to 2022 be unapologetically me! No regrets, No guilt, I will protect my peace. Because honestly those who did you wrong can’t see it and won’t see it so be unapologetic!